Friday, July 18, 2008
S is for Spirit
I was planning to write about my summer so far - Creation festival, workcamp, and all the stuff in between. But really, what I am coming back to is what is really going on in my heart and my spirit.
I have been struggling with a bunch of things as of late - my job situation (including a potential/pending layoff), my call to ministry, where I should be, what I should be doing, and so many other things. My attitude has been bad, frankly, and my anxiety level has been through the roof. Two of my dearest friends moving two hours away didn't help this, either. It seemed as though everything was crashing down around me. But in the midst of it, there was a little stirring in my soul, a need for something to take me back to where I once was and give me the sense of peace and connectedness I had when I first came to faith.
And so, when I was at Creation I prayed for the Lord to give me a word. I know some of you who are reading this won't understand what I mean by that or may think that I'm nuts. But I believe God still talks to people - not necessarily the burning bush kind of thing or even an audible voice - but through people, circumstances and events. And Creation was an excellent place for me to open myself up and listen and to hear what he wanted me to hear. I separated myself from everything else going on and just sat and soaked up the music and the teaching. I can't tell you how thankful I am for that time...now I just have to find out how to translate what I learned and heard, what spoke to my heart, to my spirit, into my everyday life...
I have been struggling with a bunch of things as of late - my job situation (including a potential/pending layoff), my call to ministry, where I should be, what I should be doing, and so many other things. My attitude has been bad, frankly, and my anxiety level has been through the roof. Two of my dearest friends moving two hours away didn't help this, either. It seemed as though everything was crashing down around me. But in the midst of it, there was a little stirring in my soul, a need for something to take me back to where I once was and give me the sense of peace and connectedness I had when I first came to faith.
And so, when I was at Creation I prayed for the Lord to give me a word. I know some of you who are reading this won't understand what I mean by that or may think that I'm nuts. But I believe God still talks to people - not necessarily the burning bush kind of thing or even an audible voice - but through people, circumstances and events. And Creation was an excellent place for me to open myself up and listen and to hear what he wanted me to hear. I separated myself from everything else going on and just sat and soaked up the music and the teaching. I can't tell you how thankful I am for that time...now I just have to find out how to translate what I learned and heard, what spoke to my heart, to my spirit, into my everyday life...
2 Comments:
Ugh! I hate that this blog seems to be the only way I catch a glimpse into your life lately. We need to plan to do lunch or something!
(((Hugs)))
Sounds like some trying times. I hope you find some peace and grace soon.
Cxx
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