I am not generally one who isn't afraid to share how she feels (as I'm sure my friends will attest!) But I do spend a fair amount of time internalizing things and brooding. I know this is completely unproductive and really no help at all, but I supposed it is part of my personality. Right now, I have several issues on my mind - most of which arose between 4:55 and 6:55 PM, if you can believe that.

I am simply not good at it. I've made a comfortable, inviting (at least I think so) place...yet my desire to clean and maintain is lackdaisical at best. I have spent most of this week trying to melt 4 inches (literally) of ice out of my freezer. In my efforts, I put a towel in it to soak up the water...and it froze in there. It's been in there for three days. The ice is off almost every part except the bottom, which is trapping the poor, defenseless towel.

And then there is the ongoing ant problem. They are only in the kitchen, only on the floor by the cat dishes. They don't crawl up into the dishes or anywhere else. It's odd (or so I imagine, as I know nothing about ants. I put traps out but apparently they don't care. I don't want to use spray because of the cats. So tonight I shook pepper on them - a trick I got off the internet. It seemed to work on the ants in that spot but there were still more. So I sprayed them with Nature's Miracle. It looks like I got them all but who knows? I have no clue what to do.

And let's not even talk about the rest of the issues. Monday is reserved for cleaning.

Bah.

This breaks my heart. Please pray for the Chapman family, their friends and community during this time.

As in Gene Simmons Family Jewels.

First of all, I love KISS.

My first 45 record was "Beth" by KISS.

ANYWAY, y'all know that I heart reality tv, especially reality shows about rock or tv stars of my youth. And this show is a hoot. He and his whole family are hysterically funny - his kids especially.

I wanna be a rockstar.

...which describes the 4 inches of ice all around the inside of my freezer.

I am by no means good at homemaking.

I can't remember when last I defrosted the beast, but I think that time it was only about two inches of ice.

Bah.

...to introduce Mr. Max.

This cute little guy is coming home to live with my mom on Saturday. He's an old English sheepdog so we were trying to come up with English-sounding names. She likes Maxwell but then called the other night to say she likes Fuzz E. Butt better. Maybe we can name him Sir Fuzz E. Butt, to keep with the original plan!

1. harsh discordance of sound; dissonance: a cacophony of hoots, cackles, and wails.
2. a discordant and meaningless mixture of sounds: the cacophony produced by city traffic at midday.
3. Music. frequent use of discords of a harshness and relationship difficult to understand.

A cacophony of voices was going on in my head while I sat in the theater on Braodway watching Rent on Saturday afternoon. Voices telling me that this subject matter was inappropriate, that I shouldn't be sitting here watching it, that it was wrong that I was with one of my youth (and her mom) watching it. But the overriding voice in my head kept saying one thing, "This is life." This is real, this is true, this is life. There are people for whom all of the things I was watching (and let me say, this is by no means the first time I've seen it - just the first time on Broadway) that this is what they are living. But there are people in my life who would tell me that it's wrong to expose myself to this reality...yet I'm left to wonder, what would Jesus do?

I'm pretty sure I know.

This is so cute. I mentioned last week that my dear friends welcomed a new son into the world last Saturday. When I went to the hospital to visit, their 3 year old kept coming up to me, arms outstretched, palms up, saying,"Me hold bebeowen!". All one word & so darned cute. Here he is, finally holding Bebeowen!

up on the airplane nearer my god to thee i start making a deal inspired by gravity if i did wrong i won't do it again i can be sweet and good and nice and if i had enemies they're friends i hold onto my life with the grip of a vice up on the airplane nearer my god to thee i start making a deal inspired by gravity that little spot on the ground is my hometown i like to call it my home and it's sweet i'd rather take a seat down there than a throne up here up above 30,000 feet and i'm up on the airplane i never should've read my horo- scope or the fortune on the bubble gum strip saying what you think won't happen will great thing to read before a trip on an airplane pilot says the big blue sky's like a swimming pool big fluffy clouds like a feather bed i'd rather have a real pillow underneath my head lying in my bed which is in my hometown which is on the ground far from an airplane far from an airplane up on the airplane up on the (i'll be making a deal) up on the (i'll be making a deal) up on the (i'll be making a deal) - Indigo Girls

I have been lacking inspiration as of late and the blog shows it. I'm not ready to give it up yet. I am not entirely sure WHY I am not ready to give it up yet, but I am simply not. And so I am going to take a page from
Anisa and blog my way through the alphabet. We'll see how far I get!

I started with airplane because I was just on one this week, traveling to and from New Orleans for work. I am a pretty good traveler, once I am on my way (I'm always a mess leading up!) and I did fine on the flight out. Coming back, I was worn out and just feeling kind of out of it. I don't wear a watch and since I had my cell phone off, I hadn't a clue how long we were on the plane. I have learned to listen for the plane to make certain sounds and my ears to pop, etc. to see if we are starting to descend. This time, I was alerted by the feeling of shooting down the first big hill of a rollercoaster - you know, the kind where your stomach comes up into your chest? It just went downhill from there. I felt like all the air left the plane and I was dizzy and sick. I am always glad to land but this time I was very glad!

I saw this meme a while back and saved it. It asks: What were you doing 10, 20, 30 years ago?

10 years ago: That would be 1998. I had quit a job (without another one) to escape some insanity and was now working at a long-term care facility. I was in Facilities and was the only female. It was awesome! Besides my gig at Dorney Park as a teenager, this was probably my most fun job. I was really close with a lot of the guys and my friend Sarah also worked there. It was great to get to see her and hang out at lunch with her. There were a lot of things that went down while I was there that should have somehow been shocking to me, but it was all the nature of the place...I won't go into detail, so as not to incriminate anyone! : ) This was also the second job where someone talked with me about God and faith and really made me think. This person was Jim Wiley, our driver. He would come sit in the office with me and talk to me about the work place, my life, everything. He always tried to get me to see the right path to take and shared his faith with me with great ease. I was so sad when he fell ill and passed away - he was one of those people who may be in your life for only a short season but have a great impact.

20 years ago: 1988. Trying to figure out what in the world I was going to do after graduation; I knew I wanted to get the heck out of small town America and go to Temple more than anything but was struggling to reconcile that with what others wanted for me. I applied to Temple, Penn State, Indiana University of Pennsylvania and I think Bloomsburg. I was Sports Editor of the high school paper but really enjoyed writing editorials more than anything (yes, I did say Sports Editor...that's how I got my start on the high school paper...can't recall why other than they probably needed someone, because I certainly had no clue what I was doing. I can laugh at all the things I DIDN'T know!! But I learned a lot...) This would also be the year when I would move on and start my senior year...with my teachers on STRIKE. I was part of group that picketed back (and I have the pictures to prove it!) We made signs and got out there early to let the teachers and school board know it was no all right with us to have our senior year delayed. (Some of us also got to be interviewed on the local radio station for our part in the protest...I can't remember much about that except that we had to get up really early and then we were very giggly throughout most of it.) Once school started, I had some awesome classes with some great teachers (creative writing, english lit, newspaper, early childhood development) and had a great year. My friends in high school weren't the same I had had in junior high - mainly because of where I was involved; I kind of gravitated more towards those who were doing the same things as I was at that point and had a whole different group...who spent a lot of nights at Perkins, drinking coffee, eating mozzarella sticks and laughing our butts off.

30 years ago: 1978. Um, I was 7. I was in Miss Haas' first grade class and was in love with Chris Walker. Well, everyone was in love with Chris Walker. He was a blue eyed blonde and just beautiful. He moved away that year, I believe, and I was heartbroken. For 2nd grade, I was in Mrs. Martinez's class. I remember her sitting in the hallway working on teaching me to tie my shoes because I was just terrible at it. I remember too that she and another teacher brought our classes together and were trying to teach us how to dance - not funky dancing but like formal dancing, boy/girl. I don't remember who I had to dance with but just that it was terribly uncomfortable and I was embarassed.

There was good news today - my dear friends Trish & Jack welcomed baby Owen Christopher this morning! I can't wait to go and see his precious face.

Yes, I have been neglecting ye olde blogge lately. I've been busy with:

• Work - big program coming up
• Bronchitis & pink eye, this week...yeah - at the same time. Whoo hoo!
• Trying to extract urine from the rug, which in turn made things worse and soaked everything through to the carpet pad
• Cat issues (see above)
• Fundraising for workcamp

The good news is I was finally able to give up one church duty I inherited when the founding pastor left two years ago - the bulletins! This was not a labor of love for me; it was just a labor. Or a stone around my neck. Or an albatross. Or whatever. But now it is gone from me (along with the church copier, which has gone to reside with the new pastor, which is what precipitated the carpet shampooing debacle...)

Sadly, that's all for now.