Christmas eve was a busy day - back & forth to church to setup for service, running a few much needed errands and traffic, traffic, traffic, all compounded by my illness and exhaustion.  Then yesterday I made some visits and saw my parents but faded out around dinner time and ended up going home to bed without making the annual trek to my uncle & aunt's house.  I was disappointed about that because I always look forward to that but I literally could not do it.  Driving home was a challenge for my tired eyes and exhausted mind.  I got home and got right in bed and watched VH1's top 100 songs of the 90s...but only made it to like 30 or so before I could not keep my eyes open any longer. 

 

The whole thing was a total flashback.  And my favorite of the whole night was seeing Hootie & the Blowfish - no, not because I am some big Hootie fan (they are ok but I don't think I own any of their CDs) but because Hootie's rise to stardom coincided with my conscious liberation from one controlling ex.  I spent a lot of time being agreeable with him - and that is not to say that we didn't like the same things because for the most part, we often did - but there were some things where my opinion was either wrong or just basically crazy in his opinion, and so I learned that it was best to be quiet about certain things.  So after one particularly upsetting fight/breakup/whatever (they blend together in my head now) I remember crying to my friend and saying, "Now I can admit it - I like Hootie and the Blowfish!  So there!!"  So seeing Hootie last night made me laugh and remember that feeling of liberation, of not caring if he knew or if he cared or whatever his comment on the subject might be...simply not caring.  Whoo hoo!  I know that I continued to date said boy off and on again for an interminable length of time but I always went back to the feeling of power I had in that moment and never let myself feel like my opinion was not to be shared.

 

 

I am sick.

 

This stinks.

 

I felt yucky yesterday but went to the annual Christmas party at Keri & Tom's.  It was nice to see everyone and catch up (especially with Debbles!) but by the end of the night, I was done for. 

 

I've spent most of this morning in bed but had to get up to do some Christmas-related stuff and I have a meeting with some new friends at 2 (more about that later) and then dinner with Sarah & Joe tonight.  I have yet to wrap their gifts, so I have to take care of that as well.  Hopefully tonight will be an earlier one and I can get some rest!  Or I will have a miraculous healing between now & then and I won't need to come home early!  That would be ideal. 

 

There is so much yet to be done!  I tried to do some things last night that I simply haven't had a moment for but there is still much more to be done.  And now I am coming down with something.  I am worn out and have a terrible sore throat...possibly a fever starting.  And my answer to all that is, "NO!  I CANNOT WILL NOT BE SICK."

 

So there.

Well, today seems to be a somewhat better day.  I must have gotten the majority of my crankies out last night.  Now I am sitting here eating salt & vinegar almonds (sounds gross, I know, but they are yummy and highly addictive!)  Tonight our Bible study group is having a party & ornament exchange, which should be fun.  Michelle & I are debating on the time - I hope I told them all the same time as usual, because I have to go home first!  Then tomorrow night is the youth group party and I am glad to have planned ahead & make the lasagna for then already!  Tonight I can come home and relax (and watch the Biggest Loser finale!)

You would not believe the wind tonight.  It literally sounds like my house is about to blow right off its foundation.  And there are lots of creepy creaking and scraping noises.  The cats are thrilled (not) and I just want to huddle in my bed with the pillow over my head.  I really hope my power doesn't go out.  I only have electric heat and no generator or kerosene heater...and it is mighty cold in here already!

 

Nothing terribly interesting to report here.  I am trying to get ready for Christmas.  I think I am finished shopping - I am very low on cash this year, so I am making a lot of gifts and trying to keep to a very strict budget. At least the shopping is done, even in the creating isn't!  I did about 1/2 my cards - I always say I won't but then I do them at the last minute anyway.  I guess it is a guilt factor?  I made little thank you gifts for all the children's & nursery workers at church today - I got little ornaments with their names on them and fastened them to candy canes with a little label with a thank you message on them.  They seemed to be a hit - I hope so.  Much more personal than last year's gift cards and these were really just from me (last year the church paid for them and I coordinated with other ministry leaders in doing it) so that was nice too. 

I am indeed alive.  Thanksgiving was a whirlwind - had dinner with the folks, laid low on Black Friday and then did a service project with some folks from church on Saturday...I don't remember Sunday but I do remember that it was back to work Monday and I've been plugging away ever since with that plus church plus regular life.  If you could see my mountain of laundry yet to be done, you would be amazed! 

 

I plan to get back into the regular habit of blogging. I'd really like to do it daily but am hesitant to lock myself into that.  We shall see.  But for now, I really DO exist and I am back in action!