Tricia's Page

Moving On...Over?

2011-10-11T23:50:00.002-04:00

The blog is moving! I have wanted to start writing again for a while but have been at a loss on how to resume this one...so instead, I'm just starting a new one. I may import some of the posts from here but that is to be decided. I was reading through some tonight and thought, well, what in the world. None of it is earth shattering, some of it is insightful but a lot of it is just...well, me.

So if you are interested, come find me at www.triciawil.blogspot.com! Adieu.

The Happiness Project

2010-03-05T18:18:00.004-05:00

Back in January, I wrote a quick post promising more to come, a new idea for the blog, blah blah blah.

I immediately threw my back out and was down & out (literally and figuratively) for several weeks.

I'm back to almost 100% now, thank goodness, and thought it was high time to revisit my original idea (and see if anyone reads this thing anymore!)

2010 has become the year of the self-help book. I am predisposed to self-books, not because I find myself inherently flawed (aren't we all?) but because I am truly interested in what other people think about things. To this end, I kicked off the year by reading Gretchen Rubin's new book, "The Happiness Project".

The Happiness Project is one of the new genre that is all the rage - take some concept, do it for a year, write about, etc. I've read a few of these books this year as well (Kevin Roose's "The Unlikely Disciple", AJ Jacobs' "The Year of Living Biblically" and some chick's book about doing what Oprah says which I downloaded but am generally not into.) I found a lot of interesting concepts and ideas in Gretchen's book and through her website and I decided to conduct a happiness project of my own...

Time to Revive Ye Olde Blog?

2010-01-17T21:41:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it has been over a year since I've posted here. Likely, I've been forgotten by my tens of readers! Sorry about that!

I am working on a project and think perhaps this is a good venue for it. I have to do some background work for it but then I hope to be revisiting the blog and posting (somewhat) regularly again.

Well, it's been a long time...

2008-11-24T16:48:00.001-05:00

I really have no excuse. I've had things to write about but decided to keep myself in check. Which then, in turn, leads me to wonder what in the world I should blog about. At which point I generally go and eat pie. Or pie and ice cream. Or just ice cream. And give up on the whole blogging thing.

But I did recently do something fun for myself - I took a creative writing class at the local community college. And I am thinking of perhaps posting the completely random hodge podge of writing generated...stay tuned.

506th Post

2008-09-27T22:57:00.002-04:00

So, I completely missed my 500th post. Maybe you did too, given the complete infrequency of my posting and the dull content matter when I do finally post!

Things have been interesting. I've been in a funk for a while for various reasons, one of which being that we decided not to have youth group this semester. It's been such a big part of my life for the last eight years or so and then suddenly, it was gone. Now I've come to terms with it and am filling my time with other things and finding the new "normal" if that makes sense.

My job was also in jeopardy - layoffs came in June but I was luckily safe. Since then, things have been quite precarious and made more so by my overactive imagination and penchant for conspiracy theories. (I come by this naturally, if you have ever met my mom!) I had my review the other week and asked my boss point blank where things stood and she said they were improving. Later that day, a proposal I had submitted was accepted by a commercial supporter and that gives us some work well into 2009. Whew!

My finances have hit a new low, however, and that doesn't seem to be improving. I think there are a lot of reasons for this but right now I need to focus on how to fix it. I've applied for some part-time gigs but have to say that I have no energy or desire to work all day and then go work a second job. But it may well have come to that. We shall see.

And now, of course, fall is upon us and therefore so it the biannual flare up of the fibro. Love it! (Not so much.) Tonight we went to setup at a new facility where our church will be meeting starting tomorrow and I definitely overdid it. I hate that! It happened last weekend too when I volunteered at the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Light the Night walk. So much so that I missed the race at Dover the next day...

I'm leading a women's Bible study this fall too and we chose The Frazzled Female by Cindi Wood. I have to admit - I was missing me some Beth Moore when we started. I love her studies and feel like I get a lot out of them. But the ladies chose this one and so I decided to work through it. It has been great. It is really working on me, especially this week's lessons. One of our assignments is to fast from a negative attitude or worry that is weighing on you. Any time it comes into your head, you are to remember our memory verse, "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Proverbs 16:24) My fast is going to be about my finances and I'm going to try it tomorrow. I hope that it changes my outlook - maybe it will even give me some direction and clarity about it all. I hope so!

So that's it - what's been going on in my corner of the world. Hope you are all well!

Z is for Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's

2008-09-09T22:41:00.001-04:00

...which is what I would like to be catching. But unfortunately, that hasn't been in the cards for me lately. Ramona was in the hospital over Labor Day weekend and my sleep got messed up then, then I was sick off and on last week and this weekend and then last night (when I was wickedly exhausted) I had wildly disruptive dreams. I can't remember the last time I slept for more than a couple hours.

But the good news is...I finished the alphabet!

Y is for Yeah, Yeah

2008-09-09T22:26:00.003-04:00

As in, yeah, yeah, I know it's been forever since I posted here. I am virtually at a loss. That, plus my current addiction to Facebook, have me wondering about continuing with ye olde blogge. However, I just looked and saw that I have 502 posts - this is 503. That is really quite amazing.

I am considering taking a creative writing course at the community college next month (if I can afford it). Maybe that will get my creative juices flowing again...

X is for Xavier Roberts

2008-08-11T12:12:00.001-04:00

Remember that dude? The designer/inventor/whatever of the cabbage patch doll. Cabbage patch dolls were all the rage when I was a kid. I know I didn't get one the first year when people had to camp out all night to get one for their child for Christmas (my folks would not have done that!) but I did get one not long after and she was all I had hoped for - red hair, green eyes, a true Irish beauty. I named her Elizabeth. I don't think I played with her all that much (much, probably, to my parents chagrin) but I think that was more because she was to be kept pristine because she would some day be a collectors item (???) and probably partly because I was starting to outgrow dolls by that time.

And now she lives in a bag in the attic.

How's that for X? (I'm going to finish this if it kills me!)

W is for Wondering

2008-08-11T12:05:00.001-04:00

Many things are rolling through my brain these days and these are just a few of my wonderings:

Why is every penny of each paycheck gone before the next one comes?

Why is there always an unexpected expense that comes up when there is no money left?

When will I get to use my frequent flyer miles to go somewhere good and relax?

Should I try eHarmony again?

Should I lead a Bible study this fall, even if interest seems weak?

Why do some people wear so much cologne/perfume?

Why do some people have to spray it in their office?

Why do I have arthritis in my knee (new development - yippee!)?

What should I put on this week's meal plan?

What fun do I have planned for the weekend that will carry me through the arduous work week?

Will my body always hurt?

Will I ever get a good night's sleep?

Why do I feel the need to stay up and watch the Olympics?

Will Bella become a vampire?

When will I get my credit from some books I had to return?

Will it be before the rent check is cashed?

Or I need gas?

Will I make it on a quarter tank of gas until Friday AM?

What will I do if I run out of gas?

Should I start a part-time business making scrapbooks for people?

Would people buy them?

Could I make some extra cash doing that?

How can I set up a website?

Do I need to make a business plan?

What would my mission statement be?

Do I need a mission statement?

How would I price things?

What is too much?

What is not enough?

Why can't anyone give Ramona her shot but me?

Can I go home yet?

How could I move my washer/dryer upstairs?

Why did the smoke alarm go off at 1:30 AM Sunday morning and again 15 minutes later?

Will my house burn down now that the smoke alarm is disconnected until the landlord comes?

Will the landlord call me back today?

Will he come tonight to fix it and relieve my paranoid mind?

Should I keep this blog?

Why can't I write anything interesting on the blog?

Will my friends with little ones have more time for me when the kids are grown?

Is there really something wrong with the wiring in my car?

How much will THAT cost?

Will Tom & Keri's baby be a boy or a girl?

When will I be motivated to work again?

Will I ever finish this alphabet game on the blog?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

V is for Verily, Verily

2008-08-11T11:15:00.001-04:00

Ok, so this is weird. Of course, most of what I write here is weird...

Anyway, in thinking about what to write for V, I kept coming up with three things: vapid, vacuous, and "verily, verily." I hadn't a clue what verily, verily meant so I looked it up (especially since I could not get it out of my head whenever I thought about ye olde blog). And so I learned that:

"Verily, Verily" is the KJV translation of the phrase used by Jesus to introduce a strong foundational truth. It literally means "firm" and signifies that what follows is a trustworthy fact that defines reality.

Hmmm. Now to figure out why this keeps ringing in my brain...I'm sure it is somehow directly related to my recent struggles and my need to be studying the Bible more and listening to speakers and such; I'm just not complete aware of why this particular phrase keeps running through my head.

U is for Undignified

2008-07-28T21:58:00.000-04:00

I'm all about being undignified these days...

T is for Trying

2008-07-28T21:46:00.002-04:00

And I am trying to:

-finish the alphabet!
-keep up with my Bible study, "No Other Gods". It's really good - I'm just constantly behind after Creation, workcamp and trying to get back to "real" life
-reorganize my house
-keep up with the housework
-work with the vet to reduce or eliminate Ramona's need for insulin
-reconnect with old friends
-stay connected to current friends
-find a new place to spend 40 hours a week
-get up the courage to get an MRI on my knee
-get back on track with my nutrition plan
-do meal planning each week
-keep up with the neverending pile of wash
-finish "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller
-decide what to do about women's Bible study for the fall
-start a Bible study for young adults
-figure out where we are headed with youth
-decide what I want to do about some other issues that are weighing on me (how's that for vague!? You love me anyway!)
-go to bed early tonight, since I was up last night with hungry, annoying cats (yes, part of the new plan to get off insulin. Tonight there will be sleeping - no matter what I have to do to get it!)

Workcamp 08 - Crew Shots

2008-07-26T21:04:00.000-04:00

Workcamp 08 - Machias, Maine!

2008-07-26T21:02:00.000-04:00

S is for Spirit

2008-07-18T22:14:00.003-04:00

I was planning to write about my summer so far - Creation festival, workcamp, and all the stuff in between. But really, what I am coming back to is what is really going on in my heart and my spirit.

I have been struggling with a bunch of things as of late - my job situation (including a potential/pending layoff), my call to ministry, where I should be, what I should be doing, and so many other things. My attitude has been bad, frankly, and my anxiety level has been through the roof. Two of my dearest friends moving two hours away didn't help this, either. It seemed as though everything was crashing down around me. But in the midst of it, there was a little stirring in my soul, a need for something to take me back to where I once was and give me the sense of peace and connectedness I had when I first came to faith.

And so, when I was at Creation I prayed for the Lord to give me a word. I know some of you who are reading this won't understand what I mean by that or may think that I'm nuts. But I believe God still talks to people - not necessarily the burning bush kind of thing or even an audible voice - but through people, circumstances and events. And Creation was an excellent place for me to open myself up and listen and to hear what he wanted me to hear. I separated myself from everything else going on and just sat and soaked up the music and the teaching. I can't tell you how thankful I am for that time...now I just have to find out how to translate what I learned and heard, what spoke to my heart, to my spirit, into my everyday life...

R is for Ramona

2008-06-26T21:52:00.000-04:00

Ramona was my very first cat. I grew up with dogs and longed for a pet when I moved out on my own. When I was at a very low point in my life, my dear roommates and friens got me a lop-eared bunny...but lop-eared bunnies aren't long for apartment life.

When I was living by myself a few years later and still longing for a pet, I finally decided that allergies be darned, I was getting a kitten. (Yes, I am allergic to cats! I have to take medicine but it is well worth it.) A coworker knew of someone who had just had a litter. I excitedly ran out and got all the necesary supplies - cute dishes, a carrier, litter box, food, everything. We drove over to the house and I had two females kittens to choose from. Ramona was so tiny and cute and I loved her unique black & white markings. I decided to take her and we drove off. She mewed and sounded so sad all the way home that she made me cry. I felt so bad for taking her from her sister and her mom!

My friend Liz came over to meet her that night and we laid on my living room rug, checking her out and trying to decide on a suitable name. We tossed around many option before moving into characters from our favorite children's books...which is how we came upon Ramona Quimby...and a kitty was named.

Ramona was my sweet girl but would occassionally nip at me when bored. I talked to the vet about it and she recommended that I get her a playmate. Surprisingly (not!), they had a litter of kittens there that needed homes. Some had found homes early on but one little quiet girl with humongous ears and white fur with black markings stole my heart. I had decided to name her Olive but after a few days at home, I realized that she really was a Nervous Nellie - every little thing scared her and sent her scurrying for shelter. (I remember the first night I let her have free reign in the house and could not find her in the morning. I was frantic, searching everywhere (even under the fridge) and crying because she was my responsibility and I had let her down. Luckily, I had put a collar with a bell on her and after about an hour of searching, I heard a little ring. She was under my dresser (which I didn't know was possible - the front of the dresser came all the way to the floor! But the back didn't.)

As Nellie got more accustomed to our home, she decided that Ramona was her mother. Until very recently, she wanted very little to do with me! But unfortunately, Ramona did not love her the same. She thought she was a threat for my attention and rather a bug. This has improved over the years (I have caught them snuggling like the picture above!) but Ramona still seems to wish she were an only cat. (And oh my, did her world turn upside down when Norman came to live with us! But that is another post.)

About two years ago, Ramona started to act very lethargic. She was eating and drinking a great deal so I took her to the vet. After much testing, she was diagnosed with diabetes. She gets 5 units of insulin two times a day, which is apparently a lot for a kitty. Right now, we are working to regulate her sugar a little better through her diet and such and she is really not handling it well. With my job and other travel, this poses a difficult situation - primarly because she will only let me give her her insulin. She used to allow our petsitter, until halfway through workcamp last summer when for some reason she lost it and would no longer allow it, hissing, growling, hiding, the works. So now Norman & Nellie get to stay home with the petsitter while Miss Ramona has to stress out in a cage at the vet. This upsets me so deeply, I cannot tell you. It's bad enough to have to leave her there but I also know that the stress does not help her diabetes. I pray each time that she will make it through. And right now, I am hoping that the work we are doing with the vet's help could reverse the diabetes (totally possible in cats for some reason - diet can be a big factor) and alleviate this situation all together, so she can get back to being the sweet & loving kitty I've known and loved for 12 years.

Q is for Queen

2008-06-25T21:44:00.001-04:00

When I wss in sixth grade, Stacy Queen was my best friend. We spent much time together, hanging out, laughing, listening to heavy metal music. She was over at my house the day my mom came in, opened the freezer door and stated, "I am going to put my head in the freezer and die." Which in retrospect probably should have been disturbing but to two preteen girls was pretty darn hysterical.

It was Stacy's dad who took us to our first concert - Def Leppard at the Allentown Fairgrounds. I remember saying something about the funny smell around us and her dad telling us to inhale deeply. (Again, probably disturbing in retrospect but kind of funny.)

I remember hanging out at her house and playing with the Wacky Wall Walker octopi we had gotten (mine named Ozzifer after my dear Ozzy Osbourne). I remember laughing at lunch. I remember that she & her brother always cried in school pictures, for some reason.

What I don't remember is what happened to us. I know junior high changed us, changed our circle of friends. I don't clearly remember seeing much of her after that and not much or maybe at all in high school. I recall hearing she was being homeschooled toward the end but I don't know that for sure. I wonder where she is now, what she is up to. Is she married? Does she have kids? Did she move away or stay in our hometown? The other weekend, I drove up to my parents and drove through her town. I wanted to drive over to her house but decided that that was weird...and so I was left to wonder.

P is for Prayer

2008-06-24T21:37:00.002-04:00

Prayer means many different things to different people. To me, prayer is an ongoing conversation with my Lord & Savior. However, I find that in times of extreme stress, like mine as of late, my prayer life becomes as discombobulated as the rest of my life (and me.) I sometimes find myself only able to say, "Lord, please help me" or even simply, "Lord." I know that this is prayer in itself; He knows what I am going through and what the burdens of my heart are, after all.

This morning, I was driving to work. I had the radio off and wanted to pray for some specific and troubling issues. But I would start and then become distracted by other things - stupid drivers, to do lists, hunger. Much of my prayer was, "I'm sorry, God. I am so easily distracted" and trying to begin again. It is quite frustrating. I guess I mistakenly try to compare myself to others who have these deep and meaningful prayer lives - and then I feel like a failure. A failure at prayer? It really can't be possible, can it? I don't truly believe it can. I think merely the desire, the effort, put forth in whatever manner is what God desires...

You would think...

2008-06-23T19:13:00.001-04:00

...that this alphabet game would be easier. But it's not! I am trying to come up with something clever but am stuck...

O is for Oprah

2008-06-19T11:20:00.001-04:00

Let me begin by saying I like Oprah. I liked her a lot more years ago but I still think she does some programming and other things that are of value. I read her magazine on occassion (usually when flying) and find value in much of it - though her "Favorite Things" and fashion choices are a wee bit out of my price range!

What I am not a fan of is how some people fall into almost a worship-like stance when it comes to her. I guess I feel that way about most celebs - they are simply people but I think we sometimes get caught up in their celebrity and put them up on a pedestal that is not always deserved. They are not perfect (though often they may appear that way): sometimes they espouse views that might be misguided, just as any one of us might; sometimes they have opinions that a skewed based on their experiences which may not adequately or accurately reflect the experiences of others...don't we all? It is taking everything that they say as gospel that I take issue with. Just because Oprah (or any other celeb) says something is the best book she has ever read and it changed her life, doesn't mean you'll enjoy it or that it will impact you at all. Just because they prefer a certain type of pet, doesn't mean that pet is right for you or your home or lifestyle. Do you see where I am going with this? We are all people with different personalities, likes and dislikes, etc. Opinions of others can and should matter to us in many instances but we have been given a gift in our capacity to reason and think for ourselves and it's my opinion (LOL) that we should use it!

N is for Nascar

2008-06-16T18:04:00.003-04:00

I love Nascar.

I love it even more now that my favorite driver won Sunday after a drought of 76 races! But that is another post.

I know what all the naysayers say about Nascar - it's not really a sport, anyone can drive round and round, only beer-swilling rednecks watch it, blah, blah, blah.

Blah.

It's so frustrating to me when people dismiss something or mock it, simply because they are ignorant about it. I don't care if you don't like it, can't get into it, have no interest in it - but don't put me down because I enjoy it. I don't enjoy baseball (or basketball or hockey, for that matter) but I don't put someone down for liking it. Different people like different things, and that is ok. It's how God made us!

And here's a question to reflect on, next time the subject of Nascar comes up. Can you drive a car at about 200 miles an hour, on a 33 degree angle (called a bank), in a firesuit, when the temperature outside is over 90 and the track temperature is over 125 degrees with 40 other drivers trying to cut you off and push you out of the way, for more than 4 hours straight?

Didn't think so!

I was joking with friends the other night that Nascar is in my blood, but it's not really a joke. My grandmother and her boyfriend used to go to races all over the place. I imagine her interest might have been partly due to his but it was interest just the same. My dad always watched, too (though football took first place if a choice had to be made.)

A few years ago, I attended my first race and my love of the sport grew, as did my respect for the drivers and their teams. It is amazing how knowledgeable they need to be, are required to be, to keep the driver safe and on the track. The sport has made great strides in the past few years to make the drivers safer - changing the car, installing safer barrier walls, increasing safety equipment in the cars and so on. Serious accidents can still happen but safeguards are in place to make them happen less and less. (If you want to see what I mean, check this out...it's absolutely insane.)

So what is my point? I guess simply that you don't have to enjoy a sport to respect it, its participants and most of all, its fans.

Stay tuned for O...

M is for Memory

2008-06-11T23:59:00.002-04:00

Or memories, as the case may be.

One of my favorite hobbies is scrapbooking. I haven't done it since April for various reasons (including the scrapbooking store we frequent closing down) but it is somehow important for me to document my life. I started with my graduation from college and have only made it to 2002; there is much more to be done. I especially enjoy documents my vacations and other trips/adventures. It is great to be able to look back on such things and remember.

And remembering is another issue. I truly fear losing my memory when I grow older. I am notorious for remembering completely ridiculous and unimportant things but completely blocking other things from my mind. It drives my friend Mike absolutely bats because he remembers EVERYTHING. But it is really quite an odd phenomenon. When I was in Orlando in January, I was trying to decide where to go when I had a free afternoon. We had vacationed in Orlando when I was 12, visiting Disney, Epcot, Sea World, Cape Canaveral, Tampa/St. Pete and so on. I finally decided on Sea World because I remembered nothing from our trip other than I was in a bad mood and was irritated that my dad wanted to take a picture of me, my mom and the guy dressed up like Shamu.

Well, apparently, we toured the whole place - including the behind the scenes tour, complete with Shamu jumping up and landing RIGHT NEXT TO ME. And I remember not a thing.

Not one thing.

What do you think it means?

L is for Lists

2008-06-11T14:31:00.001-04:00

I am the queen of the listmakers. Some may say nay, that they instead are the queens. But I reign supreme. I make lists for absolutely everything. Pro/con lists, lists of chores, lists of prayers, lists of movies to watch, lists of books to read, grocery lists, phone call lists, lists based on specific tasks (like workcamp planning). It is almost as though I cannot function with a list...I am lost and adrift.

And yes, sometimes I put something I've already done on a list - just so I can cross it off!

K is for Kindred Spirits

2008-06-05T19:29:00.003-04:00

There is a strange thing about the blogging world. Somehow, I've managed to "meet" some people out here that I can really relate to. I admit that I have a fairly long blogroll and some I keep up with more than others. Some are moms, some are grandmoms. Some are single, some are married. Some share my faith, some are seeking...some just aren't sure. But in amongst this group, I've found some that I can really relate to, that I "get". And even though I've never met them (and may never), there is a sort of odd kinship, based on life experiences written down and published for the world to see. It may seem odd to those of you who don't blog (or read blogs other than mine!) but I've laughed with these folks, been frustrated for them, shared their joys and cried for them yet have not met them...but feel they are my friends.

Am I crazy? Wait...don't answer that (unless you are a fellow blogger!)

J is for Jon & Kate Plus 8

2008-06-02T22:40:00.003-04:00

I am obsessed with this show. It is totally fascinating to me to see how in the world this couple manages their home and lives with 8 children. I've read a lot of things on the internet recently (blogs, mostly) where people discuss how they feel about Kate or Jon and so on...which is wildly disturbing to me. I mean, do you think you really get to know someone by watching a reality show? While I'm sure the producers try to be true to their lives, there is still the matter of the story being edited...and real life isn't edited. I guess my point is that we are still seeing only a snapshot of their lives and no judgement can be made (or should be made) based on that. And that's my two cents!

I is for Internalizing

2008-05-28T22:00:00.002-04:00

I am not generally one who isn't afraid to share how she feels (as I'm sure my friends will attest!) But I do spend a fair amount of time internalizing things and brooding. I know this is completely unproductive and really no help at all, but I supposed it is part of my personality. Right now, I have several issues on my mind - most of which arose between 4:55 and 6:55 PM, if you can believe that.

H is for Housecleaning

2008-05-23T01:21:00.000-04:00

I am simply not good at it. I've made a comfortable, inviting (at least I think so) place...yet my desire to clean and maintain is lackdaisical at best. I have spent most of this week trying to melt 4 inches (literally) of ice out of my freezer. In my efforts, I put a towel in it to soak up the water...and it froze in there. It's been in there for three days. The ice is off almost every part except the bottom, which is trapping the poor, defenseless towel.

And then there is the ongoing ant problem. They are only in the kitchen, only on the floor by the cat dishes. They don't crawl up into the dishes or anywhere else. It's odd (or so I imagine, as I know nothing about ants. I put traps out but apparently they don't care. I don't want to use spray because of the cats. So tonight I shook pepper on them - a trick I got off the internet. It seemed to work on the ants in that spot but there were still more. So I sprayed them with Nature's Miracle. It looks like I got them all but who knows? I have no clue what to do.

And let's not even talk about the rest of the issues. Monday is reserved for cleaning.

Bah.

2008-05-22T22:17:00.001-04:00

This breaks my heart. Please pray for the Chapman family, their friends and community during this time.

G is also for Gene

2008-05-20T22:57:00.002-04:00

As in Gene Simmons Family Jewels.

First of all, I love KISS.

My first 45 record was "Beth" by KISS.

ANYWAY, y'all know that I heart reality tv, especially reality shows about rock or tv stars of my youth. And this show is a hoot. He and his whole family are hysterically funny - his kids especially.

I wanna be a rockstar.

G is for Gargantuan

2008-05-20T21:51:00.001-04:00

...which describes the 4 inches of ice all around the inside of my freezer.

I am by no means good at homemaking.

I can't remember when last I defrosted the beast, but I think that time it was only about two inches of ice.

Bah.

We Interrupt This Alphabet...

2008-05-20T20:59:00.001-04:00

...to introduce Mr. Max.

F is for Fuzz E. Butt

2008-05-14T16:08:00.002-04:00

This cute little guy is coming home to live with my mom on Saturday. He's an old English sheepdog so we were trying to come up with English-sounding names. She likes Maxwell but then called the other night to say she likes Fuzz E. Butt better. Maybe we can name him Sir Fuzz E. Butt, to keep with the original plan!

E is for Endearments

2008-05-13T16:06:00.001-04:00

I was having trouble with E. I just kept thinking, "E is for exhaustion." Hmmm...can't imagine why!

But then something amusing happened. One of our clients called my coworker "sweetie pie". Why in the world? And by what stretch of the imagination is that appropriate?

But it made me laugh out loud and I needed that!

D is for Decision-Making

2008-05-12T12:54:00.001-04:00

I hate making decisions. I feel like I am always on my own, trying to figure out the best thing to do. I envy couples who can at least discuss and share in the process with one another and have someone to fall back to to celebrate with or to be comforted by if it doesn't work out.

I am at yet another crossroads in my life. Some things are shaking out in a way that could prove detrimental to my already precarious finances in the next 12 to 18 months. Yet I am tired of being at the crossroads again, tired of having to think things through, create yet another new life plan.

Bah.

C is for Cacophony

2008-05-11T22:11:00.002-04:00

1. harsh discordance of sound; dissonance: a cacophony of hoots, cackles, and wails.
2. a discordant and meaningless mixture of sounds: the cacophony produced by city traffic at midday.
3. Music. frequent use of discords of a harshness and relationship difficult to understand.

A cacophony of voices was going on in my head while I sat in the theater on Braodway watching Rent on Saturday afternoon. Voices telling me that this subject matter was inappropriate, that I shouldn't be sitting here watching it, that it was wrong that I was with one of my youth (and her mom) watching it. But the overriding voice in my head kept saying one thing, "This is life." This is real, this is true, this is life. There are people for whom all of the things I was watching (and let me say, this is by no means the first time I've seen it - just the first time on Broadway) that this is what they are living. But there are people in my life who would tell me that it's wrong to expose myself to this reality...yet I'm left to wonder, what would Jesus do?

I'm pretty sure I know.

B is for Bebeowen

2008-05-09T16:20:00.001-04:00

This is so cute. I mentioned last week that my dear friends welcomed a new son into the world last Saturday. When I went to the hospital to visit, their 3 year old kept coming up to me, arms outstretched, palms up, saying,"Me hold bebeowen!". All one word & so darned cute. Here he is, finally holding Bebeowen!

A is for Airplane

2008-05-08T21:55:00.004-04:00

up on the airplane nearer my god to thee i start making a deal inspired by gravity if i did wrong i won't do it again i can be sweet and good and nice and if i had enemies they're friends i hold onto my life with the grip of a vice up on the airplane nearer my god to thee i start making a deal inspired by gravity that little spot on the ground is my hometown i like to call it my home and it's sweet i'd rather take a seat down there than a throne up here up above 30,000 feet and i'm up on the airplane i never should've read my horo- scope or the fortune on the bubble gum strip saying what you think won't happen will great thing to read before a trip on an airplane pilot says the big blue sky's like a swimming pool big fluffy clouds like a feather bed i'd rather have a real pillow underneath my head lying in my bed which is in my hometown which is on the ground far from an airplane far from an airplane up on the airplane up on the (i'll be making a deal) up on the (i'll be making a deal) up on the (i'll be making a deal) - Indigo Girls

I have been lacking inspiration as of late and the blog shows it. I'm not ready to give it up yet. I am not entirely sure WHY I am not ready to give it up yet, but I am simply not. And so I am going to take a page from
Anisa and blog my way through the alphabet. We'll see how far I get!

I started with airplane because I was just on one this week, traveling to and from New Orleans for work. I am a pretty good traveler, once I am on my way (I'm always a mess leading up!) and I did fine on the flight out. Coming back, I was worn out and just feeling kind of out of it. I don't wear a watch and since I had my cell phone off, I hadn't a clue how long we were on the plane. I have learned to listen for the plane to make certain sounds and my ears to pop, etc. to see if we are starting to descend. This time, I was alerted by the feeling of shooting down the first big hill of a rollercoaster - you know, the kind where your stomach comes up into your chest? It just went downhill from there. I felt like all the air left the plane and I was dizzy and sick. I am always glad to land but this time I was very glad!

Nostalgia Meme

2008-05-06T23:23:00.000-04:00

I saw this meme a while back and saved it. It asks: What were you doing 10, 20, 30 years ago?

10 years ago: That would be 1998. I had quit a job (without another one) to escape some insanity and was now working at a long-term care facility. I was in Facilities and was the only female. It was awesome! Besides my gig at Dorney Park as a teenager, this was probably my most fun job. I was really close with a lot of the guys and my friend Sarah also worked there. It was great to get to see her and hang out at lunch with her. There were a lot of things that went down while I was there that should have somehow been shocking to me, but it was all the nature of the place...I won't go into detail, so as not to incriminate anyone! : ) This was also the second job where someone talked with me about God and faith and really made me think. This person was Jim Wiley, our driver. He would come sit in the office with me and talk to me about the work place, my life, everything. He always tried to get me to see the right path to take and shared his faith with me with great ease. I was so sad when he fell ill and passed away - he was one of those people who may be in your life for only a short season but have a great impact.

20 years ago: 1988. Trying to figure out what in the world I was going to do after graduation; I knew I wanted to get the heck out of small town America and go to Temple more than anything but was struggling to reconcile that with what others wanted for me. I applied to Temple, Penn State, Indiana University of Pennsylvania and I think Bloomsburg. I was Sports Editor of the high school paper but really enjoyed writing editorials more than anything (yes, I did say Sports Editor...that's how I got my start on the high school paper...can't recall why other than they probably needed someone, because I certainly had no clue what I was doing. I can laugh at all the things I DIDN'T know!! But I learned a lot...) This would also be the year when I would move on and start my senior year...with my teachers on STRIKE. I was part of group that picketed back (and I have the pictures to prove it!) We made signs and got out there early to let the teachers and school board know it was no all right with us to have our senior year delayed. (Some of us also got to be interviewed on the local radio station for our part in the protest...I can't remember much about that except that we had to get up really early and then we were very giggly throughout most of it.) Once school started, I had some awesome classes with some great teachers (creative writing, english lit, newspaper, early childhood development) and had a great year. My friends in high school weren't the same I had had in junior high - mainly because of where I was involved; I kind of gravitated more towards those who were doing the same things as I was at that point and had a whole different group...who spent a lot of nights at Perkins, drinking coffee, eating mozzarella sticks and laughing our butts off.

30 years ago: 1978. Um, I was 7. I was in Miss Haas' first grade class and was in love with Chris Walker. Well, everyone was in love with Chris Walker. He was a blue eyed blonde and just beautiful. He moved away that year, I believe, and I was heartbroken. For 2nd grade, I was in Mrs. Martinez's class. I remember her sitting in the hallway working on teaching me to tie my shoes because I was just terrible at it. I remember too that she and another teacher brought our classes together and were trying to teach us how to dance - not funky dancing but like formal dancing, boy/girl. I don't remember who I had to dance with but just that it was terribly uncomfortable and I was embarassed.

2008-05-03T12:51:00.001-04:00

There was good news today - my dear friends Trish & Jack welcomed baby Owen Christopher this morning! I can't wait to go and see his precious face.

Neglect

2008-05-02T23:21:00.002-04:00

Yes, I have been neglecting ye olde blogge lately. I've been busy with:

Work - big program coming up
Bronchitis & pink eye, this week...yeah - at the same time. Whoo hoo!
Trying to extract urine from the rug, which in turn made things worse and soaked everything through to the carpet pad
Cat issues (see above)
Fundraising for workcamp

The good news is I was finally able to give up one church duty I inherited when the founding pastor left two years ago - the bulletins! This was not a labor of love for me; it was just a labor. Or a stone around my neck. Or an albatross. Or whatever. But now it is gone from me (along with the church copier, which has gone to reside with the new pastor, which is what precipitated the carpet shampooing debacle...)

Sadly, that's all for now.

2008-04-23T22:21:00.002-04:00

Every youth group, we do highs and lows of the week. Here are mine so far:

Lows
My cat needs to go on prozac (no, I am not kidding). We go to the vet Saturday to discuss his behavior issues that are literally ruining my house.

My allergies are so bad I can barely breathe. My throat feels like it is closing up and it hurts wickedly.

Highs
I got reimbursed for some medical expenses today so I can pay my renters insurance and take the cat to the vet.

Donations are still coming in for workcamp! It is absolutely amazing!

It's Like It Never Happened

2008-04-15T15:47:00.000-04:00

How is it that you go away for some R&R - even to a place where there is no tv, no computer, no cell phone reception - for three days and within a few hours of returning, it's like you never left? The same stressors and issues you left behind are right there again, all up in your grill, demanding your attention and your action?

Amazing

2008-04-10T18:25:00.005-04:00

I've been trying to come to terms with something that is...well, basically, a miracle...

Since February, we have raised over $8,300 for workcamp.

$8,300! In two and a half months!

I totally know that this is a God thing. Even when I started adding up the numbers (which we know is NOT my forte) I thought it would be less than that. But there was a whole lot of work and a whole lot of prayer that went into getting to that sum in this period of time.

Now we need about $2,000 more by May 15th. Anyone got a big tax refund they're itching to part with?!?!?!?!?!!???

Meltdown

2008-04-10T18:25:00.000-04:00

Today was a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day. I totally lost my cool in a meeting and blew up about a situation that has been bothering me for a long time. It was a culmination of things, really...work being hard (duh, that's why it's called work), seemingly endless fundraising for workcamp, and other stressors I can't go into here.

The thing that bothers me most, or rather the two things, is that my compadres all kind of wrote off my blow up. Like it was ok? Because it was bound to happen? It's true - I reached my complete limit. It was literally the straw. But for me, it wasn't ok.

I don't like me when I act like that.

I came home, went to youth group, came home again, watched "The Last Lecture" and cried literally for two and half hours.

Today, I felt much better, mainly because I feel like I have nothing left. I am a rung out dishrag.

He is Risen

2008-03-22T23:10:00.002-04:00

John 20

1Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. 2So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put him!"
3So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. 4Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. 5He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. 6Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, 7as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus' head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. 8Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed.

Spring Reading Thing 2008

2008-03-21T22:26:00.002-04:00

I have several books I didn't finish in the Fall Reading Challenge, so those will appear again! But I'm also adding a few new ones, so I'll start with them.

Faith Club, which I'll be reading with a new group of Christian women in the area. I am looking forward to this - sounds very interesting and got some rave reviews!

74 Seaside Ave - the latest in the Cedar Cove series, and the only one I haven't read!

Character Makeover. I read about this in Today's Christian Woman magazine and ran out to get it. So far, it is very interesting - it definitely makes you reflect on your attitudes and behaviors.

Nice Girls Don't Change the World

Three Cups of Tea

Eat, Pray, Love, because everybody's reading it!

Home to Holly Springs

3:16

Holy Discontent

The Kite Runner

An ambitious list, methinks, but I have some travel coming up. I always get a lot of reading done on planes!

If you have any suggestions of must-reads, send them my way!

Catch Up

2008-03-21T22:13:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I admit I really fell down on the job for the last reading challenge over at Katrina's. Here is my list. Of these, I read:

Just Beyond the Clouds - I love sequels and I love Karen Kingsbury. Love her!

The Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Decked Out. I think I literally read this the day it came out. I am so disappointed that this is the last book in the series!

Peace Like a River. I did not have peace like a river while I was reading it. I forced myself to finish it but it was not really a story I enjoyed in any way.

The Time Traveler's Wife, which I completely did not like. I think it can be summed up simply by something I read in the book club notes in the back - did you think of this book like a love story or a tragedy? Those who think it is a love story enjoyed it...I, on the other hand, saw it as a tragedy.

Back on Blossom Street. This was ok - for some reason, I think I liked the other books more.

And so, this then brings us to the new Spring Reading Thing! Stay tuned!

Long Gone

2008-03-20T21:47:00.001-04:00

I can't remember when I last posted. Nothing terrific or exciting happening; nothing wildly disturbing either.

We are busy raising funds for this year's workcamp-this is the first year we've had to do this & man, it is A LOT of work! We raised about have of it in about 5 weeks, but we still need to raise another $5000 by mid-May. We're having a bake sale next week and then a dinner & silent auction the following week. I'm hoping that will be enough but we have some time if we need to do more.

So that's it, my stunning update for today!

Martian child

2008-03-08T22:58:00.001-05:00

Let me admit up front that I wanted to see this movie primarily because I have a great love of John Cusack. It take a lot for me to actually settle down to watch a DVD; events of late made me so desirious of such an escape; and everything came together swimmingly.

As I prepared myself, I saw the true story of a martian child on the DVD and decided to watch before the start of the movie and was glad I did! I didn't know it was based on a true story and the story piqued my interest.

Overall, it was a good movie. I wish there was more character development, some deeper dialogue.

And frankly I am impressed I actually watched a movie in less than three months! I don't do that very often.

Ever Elusive

2008-03-08T00:00:00.002-05:00

Let's pretend you and I together, strolling through a building. I tell you for the duration of our walk, not to, in any circumstances think about blue. Within half a millisecond, you will realize the the carpet is blue and so is the banister. The skirt on the woman who passed by is blue. The letters on the signage are blue.

When told not to think of something, the mind immediately rebels. Seriously, try it.

I have forbidden my mind to think about sleep. And so it is a pervasive thought. I am not sleeping, have not been sleeping, cannot function. Cry each night at about 9:30 for sheer exhaustion. Cried tonight for sheer exhaustion and the fact that crabby neighbor's son is apparently having a party that appeared to be just starting when I arrived home at 11. I cannot bear it. I cannot sleep under normal circumstances lately and now this.

Look into the light

2008-03-05T23:54:00.001-05:00

Ok, seriously, they don't call my new phone a crackberry for nothing. I stare intently at it to see if the message light is flashing. I click even though it's not flashing because I can't believe it's not flashing-it SHOULD be flashing for goodness sakes!

On another note, I spent an hour & a half of my life in an online chat with my internet provider. That is certainly time I'll never get back and as usual, nothing was resolved. Grr. What's up with that?!?

Fly By

2008-03-01T22:09:00.002-05:00

Why is it the weekend goes by so fast but the week days seem to drag on & on? I had a busy week at work, which was a pleasant change but also somewhat stressful. Today I had a meeting in the morning that was quite enlightening and then Mamacita, Michelle and I went on an expedition to find Mamacita a new puppy. She is not entirely sold on this idea but I think it will be the best thing for her...she needs a distraction, for sure. However, it was not to be today. Afterward, I came online to search some more. Now there is work I should be doing but I am procrastinating and googling people. I really need to get a life!

My name is Tricia...

2008-02-28T20:08:00.001-05:00

And I'm addicted to chicken wings.

For the longest time, I never ate them because I thought, frankly, that they were too much work for too little reward. But I have in to peer pressure on day and now I can't get enough. My addiction plus the fact that the grocery store across the street now sells them on the hot bar. I got them for Super Bowl. I got them for the Daytona 500. I got them because it was Saturday. Today, I got them simply because they were there.

And this is what the ol' blog has come to...

I need to see the sun

2008-02-27T16:51:00.001-05:00

...and in lieu of that, today all I can offer is a meme.

4 JOBS I'VE HAD
1. Making cotton candy at an amusement park

2. Direct mail @ publishing company

3. Facilities administrative assistant
4. CME manager

4 MOVIES I'VE WATCHED OVER AND OVER
1. You've Got Mail
2. Sleepless in Seattle
3. Serendipity

4. Steel Magnolias

4 SHOWS I WATCH
1. Grey's Anatomy

2. Brothers & Sisters
3. Nascar (not really a show, per se...)

4. Jon & Kate Plus 8 (oh, my!)

4 PLACES I'VE BEEN
1. New Orleans
2. Hollywood, Florida (shout out to my NCCN peeps! Safe travels, y'all. I'll be thinking of you.)
3. San Francisco
4. Chicago

4 PEOPLE WHO EMAIL ME REGULARLY
1. my aunt Ruthie

2. my Pastor
3. the youth group
4. Group Publishing

4 FAVORITE THINGS TO EAT
1. Chocolate
2. Ice cream

3. Guacamole

4. Salmon

4 PLACES I'D RATHER BE
1. Somewhere the sun is shining

2. Somewhere the sun is shining
3. Somewhere the sun is shining

4. Somewhere the sun is shining*

(*and just as a side note, it started to snow while I was writing this)

4 THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO THIS YEAR
1. Workcamp

2. Scrapbooking weekends (at least 3!)

3. My friend Trish's new baby arriving

4. Going to Creation '08

2008-02-24T21:15:00.002-05:00

I am alive. My head still hurts but the numbness & tingling went away after I laid down. I don't know what is up with me. I am just feeling wiped out and out of sorts this weekend. I took a nap today because I simply couldn't stay awake and about an hour later, I felt like I could go right back to bed. But I made myself walk on the treadmill for a half hour and I need to send a couple emails for work I couldn't send Friday because my evil DSL keeps cutting in & out for no apparent reason. Then it is back to bed, hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Snow Day!

2008-02-24T00:05:00.003-05:00

Well, it wasn't exactly a snow day - I worked from home, so I didn't have to brave the roads. I did go out in the evening and had a fun time at a penny party we go to each February. I didn't win anything (well, I did win a tube of hand cream in the Loser's round!) but it was fun just the same.

Today I had a terrible migraine for most of the day. There were some things I wanted to do but I got very little done. Now I am having some weird things happening - my left side is kind of tingly and my left foot keeps falling asleep. I know this sounds alarming - but with a rod in your spine, fibromyalgia and a migraine...not all that unusual, really, and could be any number of things related to one of those or even all three combined. I imagine I will be better by morning (the headache is already faded virtually away...just some lingering dull ache) and for now, I am going to wrap up my Sunday School lesson for tomorrow and a couple of fundraising things for workcamp and go to bed!

Bring it

2008-02-21T22:37:00.001-05:00

I feel like a little kid tonight. They're calling for some winter weather tomorrow...I'm hoping for a good storm, the kind that shuts things down & you don't have to go anywhere. I haven't any interest in shoveling and salting but staying home, safe & warm, sounds lovely.

Believe

2008-02-20T21:53:00.003-05:00

I continued looking for ways to be a blessing throughout my trip. For some reason, I find a heightened feeling of spirituality when I am away. This is odd for several reasons (to me, anyway, since I don't particularly care for traveling) but I think the bottom line is that when I am away, I don't have the same distractions I do at home. There isn't wash to be done or pets to care for or other chores to be done. I lean more on God, too, when I travel, primarily because I am often worried or scared witless about random things....

But in looking for ways to be a blessing, I have to admit I was looking too for the blessing my pastor prayed for me. I was blessed that I was able to use my corporate card for many things instead of putting out my cash (that I don't really have), I have to admit that. But my truest blessing came when I had some down time before leaving Orlando for Atlanta. I had been upset about having to change hotels halfway through my trip but it turned out that my hotel was directly across the street from Sea World. After my conference ended, I headed back to the hotel and then across the street.

I had been to Sea World before, back when I was 12. I honestly did not remember thing beyond that I was in a terrible mood and didn't want to be there. So, I did not know what to expect...and frankly, I was not expecting very much. I walked across the street and across a huge parking lot toward the front gate. I started walking with an employee partway and she was talking to me about the park and about the new Shamu show. I knew I wanted to see it so when I got inside, I immediately checked the schedule and found that the first show was about to start shortly. After grabbing a quick (and expensive) bite to eat, I made my way into the arena. I was brave and sat down toward the front in the "splash" zone.

Watching the whales swim around was just overwhelming for me. They were so beautiful, such amazing creatures. This mingled with the feelings that I was experiencing this alone, as I do so many things, and the sadness that comes with that. Soon, though, I was so caught up in the show and simply awed. My words cannot do this show justice - it was about how if you believe, your dreams can come true. I was very moved by the story of one of the trainers who loved whales and grew up to work with them in this way and was touched by a young girl in the audience who was called down to the front because she had the same dream. Although we could not hear what was said, the trainer talked very intently to the girl and gave her a carved whale's tale necklace. Then Shamu came up beside them and she was able to touch him, which must have been quite amazing for her!

Like I said, my words cannot do it justice. Suffice it to say, this was my blessing that was prayed for.

Be A Blessing

2008-02-20T21:40:00.004-05:00

It's been a month since I was a travelin' gal but I am still thinking back on it. On my way to Orlando, there were a lot of problems with the flight. I find this often when flying to Florida; for some reason, the airlines don't set things up for families to sit together and then there is a lot of scrambling around to make sure that children are not unattended, etc. and the flight ends up delayed. One of the families on the flight that were separated was a mom with three young boys, ranging in age probably between 4 and 8 years old. She and one son sat with me with the two older boys sat in front of us. She and I shared some casual conversation off and on throughout the flight and I learned that she had recently lost her husband. I didn't inquire because it was mentioned in an offhand way and I was not entirely sure at the moment if he had left them or had passed away. Later in the flight, she took out a picture to show the oldest boy and said, "See, I told you he comes with us everywhere we go. He is always with us." It was all I could do to not just burst into tears for them right there on the plane. So I prayed. And prayed. For this young mom who was trying so hard to keep it all together and was brave enough to take her boys away by herself for a long weekend. When we landed, I wished them a good trip and departed the plane but found myself standing with her again at baggage claim. The youngest boy was having a meltdown under the baggage carts and she looked tired and near tears. We talked again for a bit and she told me she was taking them to Orlando for the MLK weekend as a distraction from everything that had happened to them and she hoped it would be a good memory for them. I told her that I would be praying for her and I have continued to do so. I do not know her name and probably will never see her again, yet she and her family touched my heart.

My mindset on this trip was a bit different than others and I think I know the reason - my pastor prayed for me and prayed that I would be able to be a blessing to someone and be blessed as well on this trip. I hope that I was able to be a blessing to her that day and I pray that the Lord will bless her and her family, strengthening them and comforting them through this time.

2008-02-16T20:54:00.002-05:00

What can I say? I have been out of touch. Thankfully, I slept last night. I was not feeling well at all and ended up going to be early and actually sleeping the night through. That is probably the first time in about three weeks, if not longer.

I had a comp day from work yesterday and tried to get my house back in some semblance of order. Things were still in disarray from my trip a few weeks ago. And disorder in my home creates disorder in my brain. So I am trying to both rest this weekend and create some kind of order back in my life. Slowly but surely...

Elusive

2008-02-12T23:14:00.001-05:00

Sleep is eluding me. My stress level is through the roof and I can't tell you all that is on my mind tonight. Some because I can't clearly articulate them and others because I don't know who reads this at this point...say a prayer for me!

Happy birthday to me!

2008-02-07T23:27:00.001-05:00

10

2008-02-03T20:47:00.001-05:00

I got unbelievable news this week when I had my first appointment with my nutritionist since before Christmas this week - and I lost 10 pounds! That brings me to a total of 13! I am not dieting but I have made some pretty significant changes in my eating & lifestyle. I am also participating in an informal accountability group with two other women at church; we share our struggles and accomplishments and pray for one another. I know this in and of itself helps to make a major difference, as does increasing my activity level. Going from nothing to even two 15 minute stints on the treadmill has definitely helped.

Whoo hoo!

Stupid Groundhog

2008-02-02T22:51:00.000-05:00

Grrr.

On another note, tonight was my dear friend TomLaRom's 30th birthday. It was great to see everyone and I was so glad to see he was surprised. His wife Keri did a GREAT job of preparing and scheduling everything. It was a great night.

Earlier in the day, I kicked off the birthmonth celebrations wtih lunch with my friend, Sheri. It was great to sit and talk and debate the topics of the day...from scientology to politics to war to books.

Good day!

Childhood

2008-01-30T23:13:00.000-05:00

Cheryl took the challenge to ask me anything. Her question was actually somewhat hard for me, which I suppose is odd. She asked what my favorite childhood memories were.

I have honestly been thinking about this for a few days. I am the type of person who remembers completely useless and random things but then drives my friends and family nuts when they say, "Remember so & so?" and I have to say, "Um, no." "But he was in your class every year from kindergarten on up!" Still a no. Or like when I told my mom I was thinking of visiting Sea World while in Orlando because I couldn't remember anything about it except that I was in a VERY bad mood that day, she couldn't believe that I didn't remember the behind the scenes tour we took where apparently Shamu landed himself RIGHT NEXT TO US on a platform. Nope, don't recall that at all. (She was highly irritated about THAT one!)

So, back to the childhood memories. Some things I think I remember but they may be memories based on stories being told to me by others, because I was very little. I have great memories of our very first dog, a beautiful Belgian Sheepdog named Prince. Prince was my buddy. He went everywhere with me and put up with everything from me. I would swing him on the swingset. I buried him in the sandbox (forever dooming the poor fellow to ear infections from there on out). I remember when I was older and we moved to a more rural area that he would chase the geese (until one chased back!) and he liked to try to hide behind stick trees. He was probably my first friend in life and was forever loving and loyal to me.

It bothered me though that this was the only thing that came to mind so I thought some more. I had friends who lived in the same trailer park (yep, I grew up in a trailer park!) as me but very little stands out as a really favorite memory. I remember spending ALL DAY long at the pool with my friends, even though I could barely swim. I remember spending evenings taking walks with a whole group of them and hanging out. I remember trying to "camp" out in my friend Jessica's backyard and getting scared within about an hour and coming in the house instead for the night! I also remember walking home from the bus with my friends after school. It wasn't too far - just far enough to talk and laugh and have some fun. I was really blessed to live somewhere where it was safe for kids and where there were a lot of kids my age or just about. We lived there for most of my childhood; we bought land and built a house about two or three miles away when I was 15, which was also the year I had back surgery and had a rod implanted in my spine. It was a rough year. And I think because it was not a "neighborhood" per se like the other one, I didn't really make any real friends nearby (and luckily, I was soon driving and that wasn't an issue!) But a lot of things did change because of that move....

Status Report

2008-01-27T00:03:00.000-05:00

Sitting in the bed (!)

Drinking water.

Enjoying being home.

Walking a fine line between my desire to relax and my need to get things done around here.

Reading the Bible in one year. I still need to read today's (I do it before bed) but so far, I am on track.

Bored by the Miss America pagent that is on tv in the background.

Looking forward to my birthday (month!).

Planning a birthday outing.

Praying for a friend who is struggling, about some changes coming up soon, about a friend...

Grateful that things went well at my programs this week and I made it home safely.

Perplexed as to who I might vote for.

Tired & should be asleep but I slept too much today!

Cleaned up the kitchen counter, even though I was going to leave the mess until tomorrow.

Learning how to better handle situations at work without getting emotional (learning, I said - I am NOT there yet for sure!)

Needing to get some sleep one way or another so I can get up for church & teach the preteen class tomorrow.

I.AM.HOME.

2008-01-26T23:19:00.000-05:00

Betcha didn't even know I was gone! I have been gone for work for 7 days and while I always want to post MOST when I am on the road, I err on the side of caution and choose not to tell the entire internet that I am not home! Anyway, I was in Orlando for several days and then went on to Atlanta where I worked my proverbial tail off. I finally made it home last night around 11 and slept most of the day, ran a few errands (including retrieving poor Kittyzilla from the vet), did lots of laundry and now am ready to sleep again! It'll take me a few days to get myself back on track.

I have many things to post - about my trip, my answer to Cheryl's question...and y'all feel free now to post other questions (I KNOW that there are at least 4 of you out there who are still loyal readers!!) Until then, adios.

Ask me anything

2008-01-20T16:42:00.000-05:00

Some of my favorite bloggers have been taking random questions from their readers so I thought I would jump on the proverbial bandwagon. So, dear readers, ask me whatever you would like to know & I'll respond here!

Winter?!

2008-01-17T20:36:00.001-05:00

Shockingly, it is actually snowing! It is so beautiful.

I have a lot on my mind tonight. My brain is swirling in a thousand directions. I can't even formulate a coherent sentence...I'll be back.

Sad news

2008-01-13T23:52:00.001-05:00

My mom had to put her beloved dog, rocky, to sleep today. He had a blood clot in his lung and was rapidly going downhill; there was no other option. He was such a good, sweet dog and her favorite of all. It is such a shame - I don't understand why God blesses is with pets but only gives us a short time with them. : (

Tgif

2008-01-11T22:15:00.001-05:00

Oh, yeah-big time!

I am still exhausted. Right now, I am watching 20/20 about happiness...a very interesting show. They just said you control 40% of your own happiness. I am not sure what I think about that. There is a difference between happiness & joy, I do know that. Hmmmm.

Cry Me a River

2008-01-10T15:48:00.001-05:00

I am so exhausted I could just cry. I want to go home & go right to bed but I know that is not going to happen (and even if it did, I would be up by 3 AM and really, what good would that do anyone?)

I ran out at lunch to get a Pollyanna gift for my work Christmas party this weekend and stopped by Starbucks. I don't know what it is about Starbucks but they never have the decaf frappachino mix made up. I just flat out asked her today if no one ever asks for it but me in the surrounding 10 miles because there are three in the area and I've encountered this numerous times at two out of the three. I understand my need for no caffeine is unsettling to most people, apparently most unsettling to the barista. But come on! So she graciously (not) made me some kind of concotion she thought would be similar. It was not and tasted horrible...and now I am mad. (Actually, I was probably mad before, at myself primarily, for agreeing to do this Pollyanna thing when I know I have no money and there is no sentimental or other value to be provided through this gift to a person I barely - seriously, barely - know. But that is a whole 'nother ball of wax, surely going back to inate ability to not be able to say no to anything.)

Twitchy

2008-01-09T22:44:00.001-05:00

So Monday got off to a great start with a stabbing pain in my side, right under my ribs. I could not stand up straight for the pain so I called the doctor & got in an emergency slot...only to be told my stomach is "twitchy" anyway and if the pain doesn't subside in two weeks to come back & get an ultrasound. Twitchy??? For pity's sake. (and yes, it still hurts but not as intensely.

Last night was our first bible study of the new year and I thought it went well. I came home and started doing some things around the house and encountered a huge spider in the basement. If you know me, you know arachnids are not my friends so I was all twitchy about that all night (and am afraid to go back down even now.). Then about half an hour after going to bed, I woke up in a completely agitated state. I think this was a combination of my lovely neighbor doing wash at midnight (again...though sometimes it is at 4, so I guess I was lucky) and drying on the cycle that buzzes every five minutes until apparently the end of time plus Norman desperately trying to kill Ramona and Nellie. Plus probably my thoughts on the arachnid...so it was not a good night.

Here's hoping tonight is better-i am exhausted.

Full Moon Rising

2008-01-06T23:27:00.001-05:00

It was a good weekend. I got a lot done yesterday, including reorganizing all my scrapbooking supplies (yes, I know you are all so envious of my ever exciting life!) I watched We are Marshall while doing it and cried myself silly. Today I got up early to work on my Sunday school lesson. I had it all finished Thursday but decided overnight to rework it, which made me late for church and gave me no opportunity to talk to anyone before or after. I got to take a 6 year old friend home, so we went to Pizza Hut and ate some yummy breadsticks and stuffed crush pizza (yuck, by the way...I couldn't stomach the crust.) Then I came home and watched Dale (finally...though I missed the first half hour) and cried some more. Then I napped, only to be woken by a very sick cat and some carpets to be cleaned. I called my mom re the sick cat, only to learn that my dad fell off a ladder today and hit his head on a cement paver. He had no memory of the accident or anything else that morning for about an hour - yet they didn't go to the hospital which is making me absolutely insane. Apparently, he seems ok but his back and chest hurt. I am praying there is nothing else wrong with him. I would have wanted to get him checked out just in case....

Back to work tomorrow. I am hoping to get in a new routine and back on track with my nutrition & exercise plan. I've done ok the last few days (minus the pizza!) We shall see.

Interestingly enough

2008-01-03T22:20:00.000-05:00

There seems to be something motivating in having a treadmill in the bedroom, right in my line of sight when I am trying to veg out. What I would like would be the ability to get up & is it first thing in the morning. Right now, though, my goal is to get to work on time...and I'll take it from there.

On another note, I am strangely fascinated by the Iowa caucaus. I haven't a clue who I will vote for but I am interested most in the character of those running. Some did not have my respect for the word go; some have lost it in recent days. I understand attack ads are part of it but it is a part I can't abide.

Going high tech...

2008-01-03T12:48:00.001-05:00

...and trying to blog mobiley (is that even a word?!?). We'll see if it works!

Resolve

2008-01-02T15:47:00.000-05:00

I don't really like to make resolutions so much as goals for the new year. I've been pondering them, trying to make them most realistic and workable...so here they are:

*Read through the Bible this year
*Exercise at least three times a week
*Maintain a more healthy eating plan (based on what the nutritionist is working on with me)
*Manage my finances better

There are other, less lofty things...but for now, these are in the forefront. Wish me luck!

Mobile blog

2008-01-01T23:33:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T22:59:00.000-05:00

2008 is finally upon us. I had a great time last night at the church's new year's eve/10th anniversary party. It was actually much more fun than I thought it would be. I was home by 1:15 or so and got to bed by 2...then got up this morning to prepare for my annual Open House. I had about 40 people in and out and had a really nice time. It was great to see everyone and hang out.

I was a little depressed after everyone left though - partly because the holidays are over (and I have to clean up!) but mainly because my dear friends Trish & Jack will be moving this year. We talked about it some today because they'll be looking at houses this coming weekend and hope to move by June. I knew this was coming but for some reason it hit me hard tonight after they headed home.

A New Year is Upon Us

2007-12-30T17:34:00.000-05:00

How is it that the year flies by so quickly? Before I know it, summer will be here and with it, workcamp!

I've been thinking a lot about resolutions...maybe goals being a better word. My friend Nan & I used to share ours to help each other be accountable; maybe I will have to suggest that again. Posting them here too will make me accountable but I need to get my thoughts clearer before putting them down in print.

So right now, I am watching Steel Magnolias, copying my cds to the computer (so I can finally get my iPod back in action), purging my closet, dresser & sweater chest and making plans for two upcoming parties. Meanwhile, the upstairs neighbor apparently has invited a herd of wild elephants over. My apartment is literally shaking. The cats are scared out of their wits and I am about to lose my mind. One of these times, someone is going to come crashing right through my ceiling...

A Belated Merry Christmas to All

2007-12-26T16:06:00.001-05:00

Christmas eve was a busy day - back & forth to church to setup for service, running a few much needed errands and traffic, traffic, traffic, all compounded by my illness and exhaustion. Then yesterday I made some visits and saw my parents but faded out around dinner time and ended up going home to bed without making the annual trek to my uncle & aunt's house. I was disappointed about that because I always look forward to that but I literally could not do it. Driving home was a challenge for my tired eyes and exhausted mind. I got home and got right in bed and watched VH1's top 100 songs of the 90s...but only made it to like 30 or so before I could not keep my eyes open any longer.

The whole thing was a total flashback. And my favorite of the whole night was seeing Hootie & the Blowfish - no, not because I am some big Hootie fan (they are ok but I don't think I own any of their CDs) but because Hootie's rise to stardom coincided with my conscious liberation from one controlling ex. I spent a lot of time being agreeable with him - and that is not to say that we didn't like the same things because for the most part, we often did - but there were some things where my opinion was either wrong or just basically crazy in his opinion, and so I learned that it was best to be quiet about certain things. So after one particularly upsetting fight/breakup/whatever (they blend together in my head now) I remember crying to my friend and saying, "Now I can admit it - I like Hootie and the Blowfish! So there!!" So seeing Hootie last night made me laugh and remember that feeling of liberation, of not caring if he knew or if he cared or whatever his comment on the subject might be...simply not caring. Whoo hoo! I know that I continued to date said boy off and on again for an interminable length of time but I always went back to the feeling of power I had in that moment and never let myself feel like my opinion was not to be shared.

2007-12-22T11:38:00.001-05:00

I am sick.

This stinks.

I felt yucky yesterday but went to the annual Christmas party at Keri & Tom's. It was nice to see everyone and catch up (especially with Debbles!) but by the end of the night, I was done for.

I've spent most of this morning in bed but had to get up to do some Christmas-related stuff and I have a meeting with some new friends at 2 (more about that later) and then dinner with Sarah & Joe tonight. I have yet to wrap their gifts, so I have to take care of that as well. Hopefully tonight will be an earlier one and I can get some rest! Or I will have a miraculous healing between now & then and I won't need to come home early! That would be ideal.

Ho Ho holy cow

2007-12-21T11:15:00.001-05:00

There is so much yet to be done! I tried to do some things last night that I simply haven't had a moment for but there is still much more to be done. And now I am coming down with something. I am worn out and have a terrible sore throat...possibly a fever starting. And my answer to all that is, "NO! I CANNOT WILL NOT BE SICK."

So there.

2007-12-18T16:13:00.001-05:00

Well, today seems to be a somewhat better day. I must have gotten the majority of my crankies out last night. Now I am sitting here eating salt & vinegar almonds (sounds gross, I know, but they are yummy and highly addictive!) Tonight our Bible study group is having a party & ornament exchange, which should be fun. Michelle & I are debating on the time - I hope I told them all the same time as usual, because I have to go home first! Then tomorrow night is the youth group party and I am glad to have planned ahead & make the lasagna for then already! Tonight I can come home and relax (and watch the Biggest Loser finale!)

Cranky

2007-12-17T22:34:00.001-05:00

I am in a bad mood. The day went well but I went to a holiday thing in the township that my pastor was speaking at and didn't get home until almost 8. Then I had to make my dinner and make dinner for the youth group Christmas party this week. Then I was cleaning up after Ramona, who appears to be sick and I can't figure out what is wrong with her. Then I tried to hook up my old pc to look for some pictures we need for a New Year's eve thing we are doing but the mouse wouldn't work no matter what I did. Then I got on my laptop to check on a blog and now the internet keeps cutting in and out. And one of my accounts is still not showing a payment I made for over $500 - they say they never got the check, though it cleared on December 5th and they act like I am lying when I tell them that. I am trying to get a copy of the canceled check but it is more difficult than you'd expect.

For the love of Pete!

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiindy

2007-12-16T23:07:00.001-05:00

You would not believe the wind tonight. It literally sounds like my house is about to blow right off its foundation. And there are lots of creepy creaking and scraping noises. The cats are thrilled (not) and I just want to huddle in my bed with the pillow over my head. I really hope my power doesn't go out. I only have electric heat and no generator or kerosene heater...and it is mighty cold in here already!

Nothing terribly interesting to report here. I am trying to get ready for Christmas. I think I am finished shopping - I am very low on cash this year, so I am making a lot of gifts and trying to keep to a very strict budget. At least the shopping is done, even in the creating isn't! I did about 1/2 my cards - I always say I won't but then I do them at the last minute anyway. I guess it is a guilt factor? I made little thank you gifts for all the children's & nursery workers at church today - I got little ornaments with their names on them and fastened them to candy canes with a little label with a thank you message on them. They seemed to be a hit - I hope so. Much more personal than last year's gift cards and these were really just from me (last year the church paid for them and I coordinated with other ministry leaders in doing it) so that was nice too.

PEEPS

2007-12-06T23:08:00.001-05:00

Can't wait to see you!

Yes, Virginia, there really IS a Tricia!

2007-12-05T11:24:00.001-05:00

I am indeed alive. Thanksgiving was a whirlwind - had dinner with the folks, laid low on Black Friday and then did a service project with some folks from church on Saturday...I don't remember Sunday but I do remember that it was back to work Monday and I've been plugging away ever since with that plus church plus regular life. If you could see my mountain of laundry yet to be done, you would be amazed!

I plan to get back into the regular habit of blogging. I'd really like to do it daily but am hesitant to lock myself into that. We shall see. But for now, I really DO exist and I am back in action!

Break

2007-11-20T23:05:00.000-05:00

Apparently, I am on a bloggity break. I didn't realize it myself until today. I need to decide what the point of this is...I think I know but I have strayed for various reasons. So, have a very happy Thanksgiving and I'll catch up with y'all after the holiday.

2007-11-15T15:56:00.001-05:00

"You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all; because once you are real you can't ever be ugly, except to people who don't understand." ~ From The Velveteen Rabbit

Lightening

2007-11-10T00:51:00.000-05:00

After my news of the morning, followed by the school where one of my kids in youth group goes getting locked down (and we weren't able to reach her because they could not use their phones - which I truly do understand but it is upsetting...) I need a little lightness. And so, Friday Feast:

Appetizer
Which snack do you like to get when you go to the movies?

Popcorn, of course. I also like Milk Duds!

Soup
What year did you start using the internet?

Gosh...1992/1993? Mostly bulletin boards...not sure what else was available then.

Salad
What is your first name in Pig Latin?

Riciatay.

Main Course
Name something you are picky about.

How about I tell you something I am NOT picky about. That might be easier!

Dessert
Fill in the blanks: I ____ ____ yesterday and I ____ ____ today

I started my new eating plan yesterday and I kept at it today.

Sad News

2007-11-09T10:23:00.001-05:00

My friend Sarah called me this morning and asked if I had seen the news...which is never a good sign. A guy we worked with had been had been shot & killed in the city Wednesday night while delivering home heating oil. I was so shocked and saddened to hear this this morning. I had heard the report of the shooting Wednesday and thanked God that it was not the husband of another friend who's husband does the same thing part-time but at the time they had not released his name. While I don't know all the details, I do know that he had left behind a wife and two girls who must be inconsolable.

I could go on and on about the state of our world today, the senseless killing, the lack of morals and lack of remorse that seems to now be ingrained in the human psyche. I turn away from the news now most nights just to shield myself from it. I know it is reality...I do truly know...but I don't want to have to accept this world for what it is or what it is becoming. I'm left to hold fast to one thing...hope.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

5 a Day

2007-11-08T21:56:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I went to see a nutritionist. I desperately need to lose weight and I know that none of those weight loss programs or systems are going to bed something I can stick to - I just know it. I need to make a lifestyle change and hopefully this will help me do so.

It really isn't too much I didn't already know but it is a big change. And today I began trying. And I mean trying. My eating habits are not oging to change overnight and I can't let myself get discouraged. Baby steps! Today was pretty good though - I was able to space out mini-meals so I was not starving and tried some different things to regulate my blood sugar. Hopefully, this will all work!

Ministry of Presence

2007-11-07T17:01:00.001-05:00

Another youth group night is upon us.

We have a great new curriculum that focuses on themes by using Christian music (anything from rap/hip hop to contemporary, etc.) Two weeks ago, though, we forwent it (and yes, that is the correct past tense of forgo! I looked it up. Yes, I did) and just did our highs & lows and talked about the Halloween Alternative party we were having that Friday.

Since then, I've read some things about having a ministry of presence in youth - that it is not wrong to just hang out and get to know those in your groups, to just chill and get to know them better. Next week is a service project week and since I am a creature of "themes" it would break up any theme I would start for the month. I think it is better to do some getting acquainted activities tonight and focus on preparing for next week's service project then start a month of lessons. And yes, I am trying to convince myself that a ministry of presence is a good ministry, an effective ministry, just the same. Sometimes I walk away from a teaching night feeling like I completely missed the mark or they didn't get it or it didn't touch them the way I thought it would...and maybe that is why I am feeling more drawn to the ministry of presence. That and workcamp - workcamp is all about being present, being with them, relating to them and letting them see the real side of you. And we all come back closer, excited and pumped up about youth group. That is what I want to see more of.

Downtime

2007-11-06T22:26:00.000-05:00

I came home last night from an overnight about two hours north. My friend is away there on a retreat, a respite from every day life. It was nice to be away but just as I began to relax, the time was upon me to come home and all the stress and worries came flooding back to me.

What I want to remember, though, is spending time laughing and talking with my dear friend. Walking by the lake. Driving around the lake and coming upon several deer, just grazing in someone's front yard. What a glorious, beautiful sight.

Thank You, Jesus, for My Pudding

2007-10-31T15:14:00.001-04:00

Yes, this is how my day is going. But hey - we're supposed to give thanks in all things.

So This is Random

2007-10-29T23:50:00.000-04:00

But I think I might do this.

What I Don't Understand Is...

2007-10-29T23:14:00.000-04:00

Why I get my second wind (and get hungry) at about 10:45 PM every night
Why some of my books aren't selling on the auction site
Why my shipping options didn't come up like I thought and I had to field a billion questions in that regard yesterday
Why Norman must whine every night at the basement door
Why some people thrive on doing everything at the last minute
Why some people don't understand why I don't thrive on doing things at the last minute
Why my neighbor makes so much noise
Why I insist on hitting snooze about 6 times each morning instead of just setting my alarm later
Why I hit the snooze 6 times and then am ALWAYS late
Why the laundry doesn't wash itself
Why the kitchen floor doesn't wash itself
Why I can never remember what time WindTunnel is on
What the Red Army do with all their gear when Jr's new ride is green (but at least I'll be able to wear his gear without promoting beer now - not a good idea when you are teaching Sunday School!)

Rock Bottom

2007-10-28T00:34:00.000-04:00

Friday was a bad day - my finances have gone south again and I was feeling desperate for some way to rectify the mess. I put it all aside last night for a party with my youth and that was a great time. We had a lot of cool things planned that the torrential rains put a damper (haha) on but I think everyone had fun anyway.

It was late until I went to bed and then I slept in this morning. I had high hopes of doing some heavy cleaning today but I could not get myself motivated. I finished The Time Travelers Wife (though you'll have to wait for that review, because I am simply not up for it at the moment.) I finally got myself into the shower and moving around 4 PM; did some errands, cooked a meal for someone at church and made my dinner...then I half-hearted cleaned and put out the fall decorations.

And then I decided that I had to do something about the finances and put 21 books up for sale on eBay. I hate selling books but I feel like these are books I can part with without too much distress...now I just have to pray they sell.

Then I started searching for part-time work from home options. I've seen a couple things that are interesting and a few that do not seem at all worth my while. We shall see where this leads...

What to Say

2007-10-24T23:39:00.000-04:00

I am at a loss. I want to write but don't know what to write about. The church women's retreat was great, well-received and all that. But I tend to focus on the two (out of 21) negative comments that were received. I know I shouldn't but I can't seem to rewire my brain. Can you rewire your brain?

Sometimes I feel like the best thing to do is a complete brain dump...so I can sleep...getting all these random thoughts and concerns out of my head. Then I think, no, I need to find something interesting or entertaining or even a little bit funny to entertain my two readers.

Tonight the brain dump wins.

1. I am worried about a friend.
2. I am worried about some of my kids.
3. I am praying and praying. And wishing there was something I could do.
4. I wish I had a financial cushion to make doing what I want easier. But I do not and I need to be creative in stretching funds while still having fun.
5. I have a free Saturday - what's that about? Wow.
6. How ridiculous is it to wake up and immediately start thinking about when you can go to sleep again? I wake up that way every day. But here I am at nearly midnight blogging.
7. My dad is on a flight from Singapore that is 18 hours. He's been gone 15 days. He will be glad to get home. I hope he can sleep some on the plane.
8. I have to book some travel tomorrow before I miss my window. These will not be 18 hour flights.
9. I haven't read since Sunday. But on Sunday, I sat down and read "The Choice" by Nicholas Sparks in one sitting. Review to follow.
10. I started "The Time Traveler's Wife" but am not getting into it. I have been told that it will capture me. We shall see.
11. I am having dinner with my dear friend whose wedding I couldn't go to. I am looking forward to seeing her and hearing how everything was.
12. The weather is changing, for which I am thankful. I am not thankful for the way it makes my body hurt. And I don't want to take my medicine. I did last night and literally could not get out of bed this morning. I was so late to work.
13. I am always late to work.
14. I am feeling unmotivated in many areas of my life. This is not good.
15. I need a vacation. Maybe I need to setup a separate blog where people can make donations toward alleviating my debt so I could go on vacation - ha! Actually, someone else (probably more than one someone) did this and raised enough to pay off her debts. How in the world?????

Things that make you go hmmmm...